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I look forward to sleeping because of the other life that I secretly live in slumber land. Perhaps I look forward to my dreams because it is that place where I get to spend time with people I want to see, but often can't in real life. The best part is that I can remember, in my waking moments, the memories created in dreamland and I cherish them. (Some people might read this and get freaked out by me. But don't worry, I don't mix my real life with my conceived life. I guess you could say it is mostly a momentary bliss.)
When troubled dreams are lived, I feel that it is my subconscious that is speaking to me and letting me know my worries or what I should be worrying about. I discover what I am truly feeling deep inside and whether it is something that should be acted upon or just to be warned about.
Not everyone dream. Not everyone remember their dreams. Not everyone want to dream. Not everyone live their dreams. Not everyone have control over their dreams. Not everyone are happy in their dreams. Not everyone fly in their dreams.
Do you?
At this hour, I should be dreaming...but if I close my eyes right now, I will awake to a new day...and I am not ready for Tuesday to come. Why? Did I mention it is Finals this week and the next week too? Yes. Rewind back 4 months. You'll see the same cycle of "this-is-what-almost-every-college-student-goes-through-at-the-end-of-the-semester" stress. Four months ago, I used a weird poem from my music history class to express myself then. The difference between then and now, is that I am mostly ahead of this game right now..for now..if I were to keep up the brain juice and work capacity, I will be able to conquer this battle better than I did last semester. I have found tiny bits of valuable motivations in my life. What did I do different this semester than I did the last? *pause* ...This semester...I looked forward...instead of back. WOW. I am discovering myself as I am writing this! You should try it sometime. Maybe that's why Fei discovers so much about herself because she writes so much. Sometimes this could drive yourself up the wall because you could over analyse yourself and not know what to do with the new you that you just discovered.
I guess sometimes I write my stress away. But not through academic writing..obviously..only through heartfelt writing. Ah, notice how I started from one topic and skipped on to the next and then ended up talking about my sister and then now..here I am.
If anything, don't try to over analyse everything that I just wrote in the past hour... it is 3 in the morning. I think my other world is calling for me... see you there in a bit ;-)

1 Comments:
I wish I could have a dreamland of my own... I am one of those people who falls asleep only to wake up in the new day. Yes I know the stress you speak of. the bulk of mine ended today, but there is still so much to do.
So I will be in the state next to you again in 7 days...maybe I will be seeing you soon in the real world.
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